so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
