he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
