that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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