So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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