Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize