I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
