Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
