C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
