i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
