I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize