so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
