Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We need a shit load of segways right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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