No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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