Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
