You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
