just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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