I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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