Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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