I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
