I didn't shave. On purpose
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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