could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize