it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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