party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
