She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love having hate sex.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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