If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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