Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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