Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
