I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
