I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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