I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
