:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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