I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
