Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
