6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
