You smell like stripper and shame
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
