So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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