Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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