If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize