Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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