Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
