hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize