Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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