It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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