I'm so fucking centered right now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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