ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
