i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
