what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
