How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
