It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
