Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
