all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
