"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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