i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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