PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
