she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
