sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize