i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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