were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
