I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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