He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
