i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So. Much. Porn.
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