She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
