just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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